love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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