On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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