just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
