i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
