btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That was before I lit my hair on fire
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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