Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
