Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
