wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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