youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
