I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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