Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize