1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
