best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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