She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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