Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My balls are so social today.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
