her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
