you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize