So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize