I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
