I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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