I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
