I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
