good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
