I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
