apparently the secret to your success is patron
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
