After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
