yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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