I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
