What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
