4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
