I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
