woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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