My room smells like vodka and shame
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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