My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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