you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
