Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
