Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
