i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
