I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
