God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
