Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
