I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
