If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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