I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sext me about skeletons
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