His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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