I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
