You don't have asthma, your pregnant
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize