this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
