Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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