Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it was like eating out sand paper
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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