OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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