Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
