This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
