Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
