You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
