Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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