Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
