ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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