You smell like a Billy Joel song
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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