i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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